Tuscan Garden Ranch

So I went to use some ranch dressing. I noticed the label was different. Hmmm a flavor. I looked at the label, green and blue, vegetables soaked in ranch dressing in the background. Colorful seasonings stood bold in the white dressing.

So I now read the label. Tuscan Garden Ranch. Tuscan Garden? Is that a reference to the type of spices and flavors that are in my new ranch? Is that title to remind me about the freshness of this ranch, like it is right out of the garden?

That’s not what I thought when I read Tuscan Garden Ranch. I thought, Tuscan Garden Ranch. . . what the hell does a Tuscan garden taste like? Leaves and dirt? Who the hell wants to eat leaves and dirt?

Maybe it took me back to my garden fresh experience. While it wasn’t a Tuscan garden it was a garden experience. I ran out to our garden at about 10 years old. I ripped off some lettuce and threw it on my quick made BLT sandwich. I took a bite, and half a spider crawled out between two leaves of lettuce.

Leaves and dirt that’s what I thought. Not about a fresh tomato from a crisp Tuscan Garden, I thought about leaves and dirt. Evidently no one in that study group thought like me. Such a shame.